This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
