You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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