Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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