Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
