He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
