4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
