fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
