Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize