Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
