There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
