that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
