and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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