Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
