Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
