he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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