I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Randomize
