im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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