I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i believe in u and ur pee
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
