It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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