party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
