i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
