his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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