but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
