It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
