she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
