happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
