return my video game
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
