my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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