Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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