Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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