im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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