I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
