But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
