I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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