I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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