maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
