this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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