So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
