He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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