I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
