I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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