So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
