onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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