Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
