The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
