Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize