Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
