The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
