laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish i was in the wii world.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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