I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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