i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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