my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We are all done wearing pants today
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
