They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
