Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
