Grow some girl-balls and come out already
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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