Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
