I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
