chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
