no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize