belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
