So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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