physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
